Can't Help Falling In Love With You
by rommie-rules
Summary: Natasha can't help falling in love with Steve! Question is, can she survive it?
1. Why Do We Love?

**This is my first Natasha and story!**

**Sorry for any mistakes, typing on my tablet is hard. **

**There is more to come, and if you like review and I will make it longer, maybe even a chapter story... (severe writers block lately..) **

**Captain America &amp; Back Widow**

**Hard Not To Love You**

People always ask you, "How can you love them?". My response always was "How could you not?" they never understood that. But, trying to explain why you love someone, is impossible, unless they too, love them.

So when someone asked me why I loved Steve, I was at a loss for words, and just stared at them. What could I say? That he's sweet, kind, loving, caring, charming, that he knows exactly how to make you feel special and loved, all while remaining a gentleman. That he never wanted me the way other men have, that he cared more about Natasha and who she was, not what her body looked like naked. I could say it was his looks, his sexy body, that smile that when directed at me, makes me drops all my defenses and walls, to melt into a puddle at his feet. And Natasha Romonov melts for no man! Could be the fact that he drives me bonkers, he knows it too, which is why he does it.

Despite my feelings for him, I keep my distance. Being with him is such a bad idea, I can't, even fathom it. He's always wondering why I'm setting him up so many dates. I'm trying to keep his eyes and mind on someone else. Because, I know how he feels, he wears his emotions on his sleeve, especially concerning me. I try my hardest to pretend I don't notice.

Love is complicated when you're a spy with a blood soaked history like mine. People like me don't get happily ever afters, the hubby, the kids or the white house with the picket fence. That was taken from me a long time ago, so whatever I feel for Steve, has to remain buried and forgotten. For no matter how much I love him, Captain America and Black Widow can never be, no matter how much I want it to be. It can never happen... never...


	2. Chapter 1: You're a hero, I'm a monster

**You're a hero, I'm a monster, I'm sorry!**

**5/1/2015**

I was never going to let Clint borrow my car again, he swore he'd pick me up, it's cold, wet and windy. But, did he show, no! I've been standin here in the rain, waiting for the bus for over an hour. I wasn't the anyone here, a crowd was waiting. A very angry crowd.

"He's lucky he has a family, or I'd kill him in his sleep!" I Grumble, as a woman inches away from me.

"Hey Nat, Nat!" A voice yelled over the noise. I knew that voice anywhere, I tried very hard to think about it, or the body\person it was attached to.

I turned to the direction of the voice, and smiled, despite myself. "Steve..." I crossed my arms over my chest, and cocked my hip to the side.

"Your knight in shining armor has arrived." He grinned and held out a helmet to me.

"Who says I need rescuing?" I smiled at him, not moving. I did of course, but I hated his white knight routine. By hate, I mean love.

"Okay, guess I'll leave you here then. Cold, wet and miserable." He smiled and wiggled the helmet, I just sighed and took it. He knew I was only playing, that I was very happy to see him.

"Ready?" He said over his shoulder once I'd secured my self behind him, with my ams around is waist. I enjoyed it more then I should, but that's my secret.

"Yep!" I saluted to the lady who inched away from me, she gave me a dirty look as we pulled away.

"Okay, I admit it, you're my hero." I smiled as I squeezed his waist, I felt his chest vibrate with a chuckle.

Flirting with Steve, was the best feeling in the world. Was also very stupid and dangerous. Dangerous? Because, flirting means you like them, and to enjoy it, is even worse. I couldn't afford to fall for him, oh who was I kidding, I'd fallen a long time ago, and was still falling.

His hand on mine wrapped around his waist, made me almost jump. He just left it there, and was stroking my hand with his thumb. I coul feel insides melt. I laid my head against his back, as the light turned green and he put his hand back on the bars. It was gone, but my hand was still warm where he'd touched it. Only then did I notice how cold I was, I shivered as I pressed against him, trying to take his warmth.

We pulled up to the tower, and I frowned. Steve lived here, but I didn't.

"You can wait here for Clint, and get warm and dry. Before you get pneamonia" He smiled and helped me off his bike, I wasn't going to complain. I was obsolutely frigid.

Tony had been trying to talk me into moving in also, but I refused. I liked my space, and I'm sure Tony would end up dead.

We stepped inside and Steve wrapped his arms around me, and held me close. If I wasn't so cold, I'd make some wise crack. But, for now I was just enjoying his warmth.

We got to his level, and he took my coat and sweater off me. He handed me one of his sweat shirts and told me to go shower and change. I wasn't in any state to argue with him, even if he was being bossy and demanding, was kinda sexy on him.

After a long hot shower, I put on a pair of his shorts and his sweatshirt. I had to admit I loved wearing his clothes. Best part was they smelt like him, was like I was wrapped up in him, without being. I stepped out brushing my wet hair, and the look on his face at seeing me in his clothes, was probably the same one I had when I dressed.

"Feel better?" He asked a few moments of just staring at me, I smiled at him.

"Like I said, my hero." He grinned and grabbed a towel, he came over and put it on my head, and rubbed my hair dry for me, since I was having no look combing it wet. I couldn't concentrate, all he had on was loose sweats and a tank. Very sexy...

"Would you kill me if I said you looked like a drowned rat when I saw you?" He smiled down at me, I chuckled.

"Only if you say it made me look sexy..." I smiled back at him, and frowned at the flash of something in his eyes.

"You did..." He said completely serious, not a hint of sarcasm or jester in his voice or face.

It suddenly became hard to breathe, and my chest felt like it was going to explode. He stopped rubbing my hair and let the towel fall to my shoulders. I hadn't realized how close he was to me. I should move, go, do something, but my body refused to obey me and just stood there.

His eyes flickered to my lips before returning to my face, and I found myself wanting, no needing him to kiss me. It was a dull, painful ache in my chest, one that would only disappear with a kiss, from him.

"You are always beautiful to me... Nat." He whispered as he slowly lowered the gap between us, his eyes focused on my own.

If I couldn't breathe before, now I was suffocating. The ache in my chest became more pronounced the closer he got to me. Without even realizing it, I lifte my head up ever so slightly, he must have taken that as permission. As the next second his lips were on mine, and the whole world just melted around me. His lips were exactly how I remembered them. Except this time there was such passion behind them, that wasn't there before. This time, he was going to kiss her, the way he wanted to.

She couldn't stop the tiny noise that escaped her when he placed his hand on her hip and pulled across the remaining distance between them. At first his kiss was soft, but full of passion. But the longer he kissed her, the more rough it got, she didn't mind, she liked rough.

He placed his other hand behind her head and pulled her deeper into the kiss, which made another noise escape her, that just seemed to spur him on. The hand on her hip, slowly encircled her waist and held her tightly against him. He was kissing her as if he wanted to devour her whole. All thoughts were fuzzy and unreachable, the deeper he kissed her.

She slowly placed her arms around his neck and pulled him closer to her, that made him make a noise this time.

He turned and shoved her agains the wall, never once breaking their kiss, or the passion it held. He pressed his body against hers and moved in ways that made her gasp with every movement. Then his lips were on her neck, sucking, kissing and just all around pleasuring her.

She knew this was dangerous, but she couldn't stop him, nor did she want to.

"Natasha... you are so amazing... I want you so bad..." He whispered into my ear, I couldn't help but moan at that. Captain America just said he wants to fuck me, how can you not be turned on.

"Well, I am still a bit cold, could use to extra body heat..." I smiled wickedly at him, he moaned and engulfed me in a kiss that blew the other one away.

He grabbed my legs and wrapped them around his waist, I leaned forward and wrapped my arms around his neck to support myself, as he laid me down on the floor. Apparently the bedroom was not good enough, or to far away.

I'd read in his file that Steve was a virgin, but the way he was treating me, you'd have never guessed it. All conscious thoughts escaped me when he started to grind himself against me, my legs still wrapped around him. I left out a noise that was a half scream, half gasp, he really wanted me, and I wasn't the type to keep things from people who wanted them. Especially if it was sex with Steve, as that's all I've ever wanted since I saw him in that damned Captain America suit. It hightlighted at the best parts, and I mean, highlighted.

Steve knew exactly how to pleasure me in every single way possible. For someone who has never had sex, I wanted to ask how he knew, but I couldn't get a word out between the screams of ectasy. I'd never felt so loved and wanted, he was amazing inside of me, I never wanted it to end. We went like bunny rabbits all night long, never once moving to the bed.

By four am, he was out cold, and I watched him as he slept. And I knw I was in trouble, for Steve wasn't a one night stand kind of guy, he was a "I fuck you, now we are dating!" kind of guy. And as much as I'd enjoyed the sex, or boy did I enjoy it! I couldn't be Captain Americas girlfriend, no matter how badly I wanted to be. He was a hero, I was a monster, simple as that.

I looked Steve as a tear ran down my face, I leaned down and kissed him. "I'm sorry Steve, I love you, but I... we, can't do this." I whispered, before I got up and changed back into my now dry clothes. I looked at him one last time before I left. The tears weren't so easy to leave behind though, they refused to stop.

I was The Black Widow, Famous assasin and killer, a monster that would only taint and destroy someone as pure and magnificent as Captain America, no, Steve Rogers.

This can never happen... ever...


	3. Chapter 2: My Cold Welcome!

_**THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR REVIEWS! SORRY FOR THE WAIT, I'M IN A SERIOUS WRITERS BLOCK LATELY, CAN'T MAKE MYSELF WRITE A WORD, LET ALONE A CHAPTER. WELL, HERE IT IS!**_

**Chapter Two**

**My Cold Welcome**

I know that sleeping with Steve then leaving without a word, was wrong, beyond wrong! But, if I'd waited until he was awake, I'd never have gotten away. He has a way of making me melt completely and trust him, and everything he says. Which, I can't do, I needed to escape while I could... or i'd never escape. I never actually planned on ever returning. But, while on my "trip" Hydra, and the KGB caught up to me, I barely escaped with my life. I only had one place to go, and I hated it.

What if he hates me, what if he refuses to protect me, what if kicks me out or hands me to them? No, that's not Steves style, angry at me or not. I'm still a member of this team... sort of.

I'm Natasha Romanoff, I fear nothing and no one, yet here I am, outside of Steves office trembling. It's pathetic...

"Get a grip Natasha... now..." I scolded myself as I walked in, so he couldn't slam the door in my face.

"What is it Maria, i'm busy and not in the mood." Steve snapped as he worked on some papers.

"... It's... it's not Maria..." I managed to get out, barely.

Steve froze mid word and slowly looked up at me. First he looked shocked, happy, worried, then lastly, furious. The last I was scared of.

"... Natasha ..." He said, and I never knew you could fill one word with so much hatred and anger, but he did. What was left of my heart, was crushed.

"I'm guessing you are not here to see me, since you've been gone a month." He glanced at me from his papers he'd gone back too, he frown at my bruises, and limp. And in that moment I saw a glimmer of hope.

"Yes and no. Few days go I ran into Hydra and the KGB... they weren't happy to see me. I managed to escape, barely." I winced, and held my ribs, still sore from the beating. "And I have no right to ask for anything... but, I need help." I looked at the floor unable to hold his gaze anymore.

"You will always be welcome here Natasha, this is your home. We will be happy to help you. I'll get someone on it, quickly, so you can be on your way again in a few days, like I'm sure you want." He said with a bit of sadness in it.

"I... don't want to go anywhere... I... I missed you... and... and I'm sorry..." I thought it was the right thing to say, but apparently it was the worst.

Steve snapped his pen in half and stood up in a fluid motion. "Sorry?! You're sorry! Do you know what you put me through?! You just left me, abandoned me!  
Like it meant nothing to you! Like I meant nothing to you! How could you do that to me?! I thought we had something... but apparently I was just another notch on the famous Black Widows card!" He spat at me, I continued to stare at the floor, trying to hold in my tears. My head had started to hurt, and I felt like I was going to puke.

"Sorry, sorry! Well, I don't need your sorry, or you! If I never saw you again, I wouldn't even notice, or care! Just do your work and get out of my life, forever, you hear me... forever!" He screamed, sometime he'd moved to in front of me.

I sniffed and tried to fix my mask, but it was long gone. Destoyed by his words, all the words I deserved, I was right, I didn't deserve him, he was too good for me. Coming here was a mistake, I'd rather be killed then deal with this. I winced and held my stomach, the room had started to spin and I was barely keeping up right. I tried to turn to leave, but the movement made it worse, and the next thing I knew, I was in Seves arms as he called my name in panic. Then everything went black.

"Why did she faint?" Steves voices said somewhere nearby, fear, worry could be heard.

"Probably had something to do with her concussion, broken ribs, fractured bones... she looks like someone beat her with a metal pole for hours... I'm amazed she's still alive with these injuries... lt alone walking around." Another voice, probably the doctor said.

I felt horrible, and someone had beat me with a pipe for hours, or at least felt like hours. Running away isn't smart when the whole world is trying to kill you. I felt someone touch my hand and I slowly opened my eyes, it was Steve. He looked horrible, probably overwhelmed with guilt for screaming at me, Steve's to good even for himself.

"Hey Natasha... you gave us quite a fright..." He smiled slightly and squeezed her hand.

I hated when he was nice to me, was easier when he hated me, when he's being loving it's hard to resist him.

"You got quite the array of injuries, I'm sorry I should have made sure you were okay when you told me you barely escaped. I was too caught up in my anger and hatred for you. Not very professional of me. But, you only fainted from exhaustion... with a massive concussion, it's amazing you woke up at all." He laughed, but it was a laugh you give when you want to cry really.

"Typical... I rip your heart out, and your apologizing to me..." I sighed and shook my head, big mistake, searing pain ran through my head. Steve noticed and squeezed my hand, I squeezed it back.

"I just wanted to apologize for the way I treated you is all, and ripped out my heart, is an understatement..." He released my hand and stood up. "I have work to do..." And like that he walks out, leaving my heart in ruins. Dying would have been so much less painful.


	4. Chapter 3: Oh Boy

**THIS CHAPTER TURNED OUT DIFFERENTLY THEN I EXPECTED IT TOO... HOPE IT'S NOT TO SOON FOR A REUNION..**

**Chapter Three**

**Oh Boy...**

I'd been in the infirmary for over a week, I hadn't seen Steve since I woke up. I didn't exactly expect to. I got a few visitors... Maria, Nick, Clint... they were all angry, but kept it to themselves. Just told me to wait, he'd get over it. Guess they all knew... how lovely.

"Docor I have a new set of tests from Miss Romanoff... and they are troubling." The nurse said, as she glanced at me.

"Troubling how?" He asked her, as he took the tests. He looked them over and frowned. "Hmm... I see, quite troubling." He looked at before, before he walked over and sat down beside my bed.

"Miss Romanoff..." He began.

"Natasha..." I corrected him I hated Miss Romanoff.

"Natasha... when was the last time... you... consumated your love with someone..." He asked as his face flushed.

"Consumated my love?" I asked a little amused. "You mean when was the last time I screwed someone?" I chuckled as his blush.

I thought back, the last person I'd slept with was over a month ago... Steve... a knife dug into my heart and twisted.

"Over a month ago why..." I asked suspicious.

"Well, that is what the tests say." He nodded and stood up.

"WHAT do the tests say!" I snapped at him, he looked at me confused.

"Oh right, of course. They say that you are six weeks pregnant. Which I must say, after a beating like yours, it's a miracle it survived. That's one tough kid." He chuckled, I however couldn't breathe. My face must have been pale for the doctor looked worried.

"I can't get pregnant... I'm infertile, sterile... whatever!" I found myself screaming. No, no, no, I can't be pregnant, and to Steve?! NO!

"I'm sorry, you are. There is no doubt. Congrats!" He smiled and walked out.

Congrats... congrats... oh my f'ing god! I can't be pregnant to Steve, he hates me! This will make him hate me even more! This can't be happening!

I needed air, while they were disracted, I unhooked myself and got out of bed, and slipped from the room. The roof, I need air, no way I'm climbing those stairs. Balcony... got it.

Thirty minutes later, I was on the balcony of Steves office, why I chose Steves office is beyond me. But, I got my air and I could breathe.

"It has to be a mistake... it has to be!" I told myself as I leaned on the railing.

"What is?" A voice asked from behind me, I knew who it was, but I couldn't turn.

"Nothing..." I sighed, Steve stepped up beside me.

"Everyone's worried sick about you. They thought you ran away again..." He said, with a hint of relieve in his voice.

"Did you?" I asked, still not looking at him.

"Yes, and no. I feared you had, but I knew you wouldn't... too dangerous." He shrugged and looked at me.

"Are you okay? You seem pale and weak, more then usual." He reached out to touch me, but stopped short. That hurt...

"I just needed air... and couldn't make it to the roof. Sorry I bothered you." I turned to leave, but he grabbed my arm and stopped me.

"Nat wait... please! This is killing me, our distance... I'm sorry I yelled at you. But, i'm not sorry I slept with you. Because... I love you. And I know you love me too. I heard you tell me before you left." He turned me to face him, and I looked at him.

"I..." Was all I got out before he kissed me. I hadn't realized how much I missed his kisses until that moment. I completely broke down and fell into his arms. He wrapped them around me gently to avoid hurting me, never once did he stop kissing me. I kissed him back as I leaned into him, ribs to sore for me to lift them around his neck.

"I love you Natasha... Romanoff... and i'm never letting you go... again. No matter how hard you try, or far you travel. I'll never give up... ever." He whispered into my ear as he held me in his arms.

I buried my head in chest and cried. Too physically and emotionally exhausted to fight him. Not that I wanted too, I loved him more then I ever admitted to myself. I was tired of being scared and alone, I wanted him to love me and hold me, and to never let go of me... us.

I opened my eyes and pulled away from him, he looked confused and worried. That's right there's an us now... I'm pregnant... should I tell him, should I wait... what should I do?

"Natasha?" He asked me worried, but I smiled and kissed him, in response to his question.

"Yes, I love you too... and I'm so sorry I ran away... so sorry..." More tears, guess I was more exhausted then I thought.

"I'm taking you back to the infirmary... come on." He effortlessly swept me into his arms, before he kissed me again.

"I'd rather sleep with you... if that's okay?" I asked, a little shyly, despite myself.

He just smiles. "Nothing would make me happier." He kissed me then caried me to his room, where he set me gently on his bed.

I curled up under the blankets with him next to me. Holding me... us, in his arms, vowing to potect me forever. How did I get so lucky?


End file.
